On the Other Side-My Birthing Experience

I have now been away from work for seven weeks, thus the lack of posting, and my sweet son is now 3.5 weeks old. I typically reflect on my experiences as a nurse and a caregiver, but today want to reflect on my experience as a patient...what it felt like to be on the other side.

Labor and Delivery is like the ER unit for birth and ER nurses cringe at the thought of delivering a baby and have very limited knowledge and experience in the realm of OB. When they found out I was a nurse I had to preface it with "Please don't assume I know anything because this realm of medicine is totally foreign to me!" What's your birth plan? "To have a baby and hopefully not need meds to get there". Naive? Yes. Ignorant? Probably. Optimistic? Always. 

Culture of excellence plays a large part in the care provided where I work, and as a nurse leader I hold myself and others accountable to practices like filling out patient white boards, keeping families updated, and making intentional connections while caring for others. I have always found value in these things, but until being a patient myself never fully appreciated the value in these practices. 

"How has our staff made you feel cared for as a person?" I have never experienced compassion and caring quite like I did from the nurses who cared for me on labor and delivery. They sat down at eye level to explain what my options were. They took a genuine interest in me and who I was. They asked me about my preference of nurse presence and family in the room. What was going to make me most comfortable? One nurse asked if she could use touch to help my pain and massaged my shoulders through a round of contractions. They gave my husband a job so he was empowered to be a part of the experience. This empowered him to walk with me and assist through each contraction as opposed to watching helplessly. They took the time to teach me how to breathe, and kept me informed about the plan and my options each step of the way. They empathized with my pain and cheered me on through every hour. The little things they did each step of the way validated my feelings, encouraged me, and reminded me that I no point was I alone.

"Has your pain been managed?" Being the stubborn nurse I am, I was convinced I didn't need pain meds. I'm tough and have a high pain tolerance...so I thought... When I first went in to labor the nurse asked what my pain was. I laughed. "I don't know what a 10 is," I told her. "Maybe I'm at a 2/10 on the pain scale but it comes and goes over 30 seconds and I can handle that". NO I DO NOT want an epidural. No one pressured me. They gave me a room with a tub so the hot water could soothe some of the pain, gave me and my husband tools to breathe through each contraction, and let me know I could always change my mind. In the meantime they held my hand and told me I was amazing and doing a wonderful job. They truly made me feel good and I really thought I could do it... until hour 18 of labor when I discovered what 10/10 pain really felt like and opted for an epidural before I passed out from pain and exhaustion. I have a whole new empathy for patients in pain, as before I had never  experienced anything painful to be able to relate. But boy when I said the magic words they jumped on that pain management as quickly as possible to help meet my needs. 

I have never felt so supported and close to complete strangers. These are women who came to work that day because they like to care for others and chose to participate in one of the most memorable and life-changing days of my life. That is pretty remarkable. They didn't just go through the motions, but genuinely expressed caring and compassion in every touch, word, and action. They genuinely wanted to know about me and my story. Who was I? How did I feel about this experience? How could they help make it better? 

I knew what I should expect from their care and the hospital's expectations, and I was blown away by how I felt as the patient seeing these standards executed so well. It's the little things that add up, like filling out my whiteboard and sitting down to talk to me at eye level. These little things combined with genuine compassion and caring from another human being made for an incredible and touching experience. It is human nature to want to feel loved, cared for, and respected, but I never realized that kind of caring could be so profound in a nurse-patient relationship. I may or may not see those nurses ever again, but walked away with a new understanding of the weight my role as a nurse carries. I always knew I had the ability to extend kindness, compassion, and care to those I cared for, but now I understand the magnitude of influence my presence can have on the patient experience. 

I nurse because I love to care for others. I love the ER because it is new, fast-paced, and ever changing. That being said, our best trauma is often someone's worst day. No one plans to go to the ER, and often those days are life-changing for many. This experience gave me a new perspective in my own practice. I hope each and every patient I care for walks away with the same feeling of caring I felt from those who cared for me in one of the hardest, most life-changing moments of my life. 

To those of you who are nurses, thank you for what you do. Even on the toughest days, don't forget or underestimate the power of your touch and the impact of your compassion.