Do You Know Them?

It was a beautiful bluebird day up on the mountain Friday where I met with a group of coworkers for a ski day. I'm newer to the unit and really wanted to build relationships with some of these people and put myself in situations outside of the stress and chaos of a work day. Sitting there and chatting I found myself asking questions you might ask anyone when you first meet...

What do you do for fun? 
Where are you from?
How long have you been a nurse?....

While I have worked side by side with these people for months, collaborated on patient care, helped resuscitate and heal, there were basic things I did not know.

What makes these people get out of bed in the morning and do what they do? Where did they come from? What is their story?

One told me his story about how he is working on a documentary that he started after biking across the country between jobs. He hopes to learn and build his own sustainable home and retire to the mountains one day. He has been skiing since he was a kid and grew up in the mountains of Colorado... 

Look around at the people you work with and spend 80% of your weekly time. Do you really know them at all? What if we took two minutes every day to get to know something new and unique about those people. Like them or not,  a look into their life helps you understand who they are, why they do what they do, and how they can be encouraged and lifted up on a day to day basis. It helps you connect on a deeper level.

Wouldn't you have more fun at work if you worked with your friends? You can't be friends until you know something about them below the surface. 

Try it.

You're In Good Hands

I think anxiety is one of the worst feelings in the world. Your body clenches up, your mind races, and there seems to be no rest ahead, no solution or light at the end of the tunnel. I encounter many people/patients in a week that carry this cross. Some, daily, and others simply under the given circumstances. 

One patient in particular came in struggling to breathe, feeling tight in the chest, and scared of possible diagnosis/outcomes. Test and procedures were performed quickly to rule out cardiac problems, the hustle and bustle only adding to the stress she was feeling at that time. As people cleared out of the room I sat at her bedside to speak with her and help calm her fears. I assured her that if anything bad was happening that she was in the best place for that to happen. Having full faith in my team I promised her she would be well taken care of and that as her nurse I would take good care of her. 

I noticed a red rosary that she grasped tightly in her hands. "I love your rosary" I commented. She looked down and gave a slight smile. I touched her shoulder and looked her in the eyes, "You are in good hands". 
"I know, I guess. I've never been here before..."
"No," I stopped her and touched her hands and motioned to her rosary. "No matter what happens, you are in great hands". 
She nodded and smiled. "Yes, yes I am," she said. I left to get pain medication for her as she settled back on the stretcher.

In life and in the hardest moments sometimes we need to be reminded that when God is in charge we are in good hands. We may never understand it all, but it all happens for a reason and will all work out in the end. 

Let Him take your anxiety. Let Him take your fear. Let go and let God.

Right Where You're Meant to Be

Grandpa’s breathing became apneic. Two days before he was sitting up in his chair begging for an orange popsicle, and this morning his barely audible words had progressed to no words at all. The family was gathered close and we offered words of love and reassurance. Maybe it was the tugging on my heart, maybe it was the silence that I had trouble sitting with, or maybe it was the desire to connect to grandpa’s heart in a special way as he had sung at my wedding only 6 months ago. Whatever the reason I broke into “Amazing Grace”, then “Ave Maria”, and the songs kept coming.

The last song I sang came from a special place in my heart as it was one I had written. “Meant to Be” was written from a place  of fear and hope with the unknown ahead.

…look at all the people who love you, look at your true friends so dear. Count your blessings, capture the laughter, remember to smile and love with no fear. Find God in everything that you see, and know you’re right where you’re meant to be…

And as I sang my song the words changed as they became a prayer and the best last words I could offer to my grandfather…

…Look at all the people who love you, look at all your family right here. Count your blessings, capture the laughter, remember to smile, let go of your fears. Find God is everything that you see. You’re going right where you’re meant to be.

There’s a reason you’re here. And though it isn’t clear, just let go and you will see, you’re going right where you’re meant to be.

I left a few hours later after a week of prayer, moments, and presence with him, and he was still holding on. I don’t think we will ever fully understand God’s plan or God’s timing in life, but I can hold on to the faith and hope that there’s something beautiful on the other side. Something greater than any of us could ever imagine. Our goal is to live our lives to the fullest so that when He calls we’re ready to walk through the door.

My song, “Meant to Be”, can be found on itunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/meant-to-be-single/id985416746

The Presence of Death

As I sit here at grandpas bedside it's amazing to observe how different people see death. Grandpa is 90 years old and at the end stage of esophageal cancer. Grandpa who stood up and sang Ave Maria at my wedding only 6 months ago... Grandpa who cruised around Las Vegas like a champ for his 90th birthday in October. His brain is fully intact while his body is weaker every day with only days to weeks to live. The support, love, and prayers at this time is beautiful and overwhelming. 

I sit here and I am content. The first few days were hard as I entered into a medical situation and had to balance my place on this trip. There is a fine line between nurse and granddaughter, and on this trip I really just need to be here as "favorite granddaughter" (aka only granddaughter :p). For grandpa, my knowledge of the disease process is helpful, but what is most important is presence. Trip after trip to California he would ask "when will we see you again?" ...I didn't always know. This trip came about at the drop of a hat when I head the words "hospice". Time better spent in the days before death then after. And to fly out to just be present was the best gift I could give him at this time. 

Who needs presence? Do you have people in your life, people you work with, those who are dear to you who need you to be present in their lives? How often do we take the time to be still and be with someone? Do we make enough time before it's too late or do we scramble to pull it together when there is limited time remaining? Everyone always comes together in the last moments, as they should, but what if we lived our lives to truly soak in and enjoy every moment with others so when the final moments came there were no regrets about calls made, time spent, and the relationship that was built?

Life is precious. Enjoy every day, live in every moment, count your blessings, and count every experience and encounter. Let joy overwhelm your life so that one day when God is ready to take you, you are ready to skip through the pearly gates and leave behind only the joy you put in the hearts of the people you left behind.

Thanks God...

How often do we take the time to say "thank you"?

I mean for those things we take for granted in life: A roof over my head, a job, food on the table, a man who loves me...I wake up every day breathing, functioning, and alive. These are gifts. Gifts that are so easy to take for granted in every moment of life.

Do I stop and give thanks for these blessings? Do I remember to thank God for all he's given me or am I always asking for things, complaining about things, and wondering why things didn't go my way...

I was walking today with my best friend. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and we had so much fun laughing, talking, walking, and just catching up on life. I took a moment to soak it in and to acknowledge the gifts in this day that God had given me. The friendship, the laughter, the warmth of the sun, the beauty of the day, and the joy in my heart. 

...And when I took a moment to recognize the beauty in this day, it made the joy even greater. It's the little things in life that are so easy to overlook. 

"Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home"     

-Passenger

I challenge you to live each day with a joyful, grateful heart. Learn to love things in each moment before they are lost in the craziness of life. See how it changes your perspective and brings out joy and the presence of God more frequently in your life. And smile knowing that you are blessed. Maybe not in the same way as everyone else, but God blesses each and every one of us in unique ways. 

You are Beautiful

I was walking out of the courthouse on Tuesday after a long day. I had been running on 3 hours of sleep after a night shift to get my number called at jury duty to go sit in the courtroom to be placed on a jury. My attitude was sour to say the least. I had the most pathetic "I'm tired don't talk to me" faces you have ever seen and thought maybe if I looked pathetic enough the judge wouldn't pick me to be on the jury. Then I learn that the lady next to me has a foster child in the hospital with pneumonia and a husband with Parkinsons...that sure put my complaining into perspective.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I was not selected to be on the jury and was able to leave the courtroom by 1 as opposed to 5. Walking out, I leaned over the railing as I sent a message to my husband to please come pick me up, when a younger man walked up the stairs and around behind me on his way to wherever he was going. I was paying very little attention to what was going on around me when I heard him say, "you're beautiful". Not in a creepy, stalker-ish kind of way, but a polite, genuine compliment. He kept walking.

I was taken a back for a minute. 1. I had rolled out of bed, hair unwashed, threw it up in a bun with a headband, had on a big comfy sweatshirt and my super comfy and warm workout leggings. I was a mess to say the least. On top of that I hadn't been feeling great about myself that day. I had bags under my eyes, hadn't slept more than 6 hours in 2 days, hadn't made it to the gym in over 3 days, and was running off of coffee. Needless to say I was not feeling great about myself. 

His comment made me stop...

I am beautiful. Not for what I wear, what I look like, how tall, short, slim or stalky I am, but because I am a child of God. This statement brightened my day but also made me realize how important that affirmation is in our society. It is the quality of our character and the genuinity of our hearts that defines beauty, contrary to what media and society tell us today.

So remember that you are beautiful for being you. There is no one else like you. Embrace who you are and let your true self radiate. 

And don't forget to tell others that they are beautiful. We all need that reminder sometimes.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

A Thought About Love

I encounter a lot of different people in my line of work and most often these people are extremely stressed, frustrated, and not at their best. I plan to be in the ER three days a week, but the average person does not wake up with the intent to enter the ER doors and quite possibly have their world flipped upside-down. I see a lot of emotion, a lot of tears, and a lot of different expressions of love. One struck me in particular...

I observed an interaction between a couple. Had I seen them on the street I never would have put the two together. Of different races, heights, statures, backgrounds, and just about everything else. They had been friends for years, caring for each other for years. Only kind words were spoken about the other, and there was a softness to her face that was oddly calm for the situation at hand. 

If we could all treat each other in this way, wouldn't it be as Jesus had wanted? He  said to love each other as we love ourselves. To reach out to those in need, be kind to those around us, to extend a hand to those who are struggling, to be selfless... 

Why couldn't the kindness and dedication in this relationship be exemplified in the relationships of every couple who walked through the door? Was it because they focused on what really mattered? Was it because their relationship was built on communication and selflessness? Because they had each others best intentions at heart at all times? 

Was it because neither of them could see?


Talk about a different perspective. They lived life for what each day brought, took on each situation for what it was, and loved in every moment. They exemplified love in a beautiful way. 

How often do we let what we see in front of us cloud our opinions with judgement? Maybe if we closed our eyes every once in a while we would see more than we ever expected.

"Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see Your face. Open my heart, Lord. Help me to love like You. Help me to love"