Today I'm posting my first music video associated with my song "John's Smile", and my question to you is, What is in a smile? I mean a really good, genuine smile.
People smile all the time. I smile to say hello, because something great has just happened, because I'm happy....I also smile to cover up hurt, to fake it to make it, or to just keep someone from asking the questions of "Are you okay?"
John Sikorra is a dear friend and a man I have grown up with my entire life. When we were in 1st grade John began to steadily lose his sight. He was diagnosed with a neurological, degenerative disease called Battens. Battens is a rare and genetic and slowly works to take over brain and muscle function over time. John lost his sight first, then his muscles began to decline and his brain began to slow. Most children diagnosed do not live past late teens to early 20s. John is now at the end of his journey at age 24 and I firmly believe it is because he never stopped living. Lori and Joe, John and Ben (John's younger brother also with Battens)'s parents never let them see themselves as incapable of living. They knew they had restrictions, but pushed every line to ensure John and Ben lived life to the fullest.
You want to see a genuine smile? Look at a kid who cannot see and is weakening year to year, but goes out and water skis, snow skis, boogie boards and swims in the ocean, camps, joins his high school baseball team, indoor skydives, goes to high school, runs cross country, is crowned homecoming king, and wakes up every morning up for a new adventure. John lived the most beautiful, genuine life because he lived without fear. He lived without abandon. He trusted God, trusted all who guided him, and never stopped smiling.
Never once did I hear him complain about his situation. John simply embraced the cross he had to carry on this earth and smiled every darn day with it. So humble, so loving, so kind....always.
What's in a smile? I tell you as a wise friend told me: "joy is the proof of the presence of God". John's smile was always pure joy. I think he could see things we never could, and I think he knew God's love far greater than we will ever know until we are in heaven one day. John was an angel sent among our small community to remind us about the importance of life. Every day is a gift and a day worth living and therefore it should be lived with a smile.
When I look at John, I see God smile.
Here is the link to the song: https://youtu.be/yQdbmIb0sa8
Please pray for John and his family (Lori, Joe, and Ben) as John is in the ICU ready to go home to God.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Stop and Pray
Being a nurse there is something so special about the ability to physically and spiritually touch people's lives every day. I get up and my first prayer in the morning (it helps me roll out of bed) is "God, let me remember that this work is not about me, and help me to be Your hands and feet today"
It's important to stop and pray...
This past week at work I was drained. I had a lot of patients with a lot of movement and turnover and needless to say those darling patients were wearing on my patience! I had to stop and take a breath: everything would get done and each one deserved the best care and the best part of me that I could offer. I asked God, "help me to breathe and remember this is not about me"
It's important to stop and pray...
My one patient was down. She had her bible, prayer books, and journals lying at her side and was trying to hard to cling to Jesus in her difficult situation. We began to discuss music, Christianity, and found that we both shared a love for Jesus and music. She would quote encouraging scripture and was trying so hard to stay positive. At one point she expressed her frustration, her eyes begging for reassurance that everything was going to be ok and that God was there and with her. I asked if I could pray with her.
It's important to stop and pray...
I took her hands and from my heart offered up a prayer to God aloud. I asked Him to comfort her, to hold her tight and reassure her that everything was going to be ok as long as He was in her heart. I prayed from the depths of my soul because I knew He was listening. Her eyes welled with tears as she prayed with me and we concluded with the Our Father.
What a special moment. There is always time to stop and be with God. He is always there. It is important to recognize Him and take the time to stop and pray.
It's important to stop and pray....
It's important to stop and pray...
This past week at work I was drained. I had a lot of patients with a lot of movement and turnover and needless to say those darling patients were wearing on my patience! I had to stop and take a breath: everything would get done and each one deserved the best care and the best part of me that I could offer. I asked God, "help me to breathe and remember this is not about me"
It's important to stop and pray...
My one patient was down. She had her bible, prayer books, and journals lying at her side and was trying to hard to cling to Jesus in her difficult situation. We began to discuss music, Christianity, and found that we both shared a love for Jesus and music. She would quote encouraging scripture and was trying so hard to stay positive. At one point she expressed her frustration, her eyes begging for reassurance that everything was going to be ok and that God was there and with her. I asked if I could pray with her.
It's important to stop and pray...
I took her hands and from my heart offered up a prayer to God aloud. I asked Him to comfort her, to hold her tight and reassure her that everything was going to be ok as long as He was in her heart. I prayed from the depths of my soul because I knew He was listening. Her eyes welled with tears as she prayed with me and we concluded with the Our Father.
What a special moment. There is always time to stop and be with God. He is always there. It is important to recognize Him and take the time to stop and pray.
It's important to stop and pray....
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Balancing Gifts
God has given each one of use special gifts and talents that we are called to spread to the world. Matthew 25 tells the parable of the talents which concludes with:
I pulled up an old email from 2011 last night which was sent to my mom from a family friend. The sender, a beautiful, spiritual woman of God, had been praying for my family and received images to pass along. The segment about me read:
In taking time to heal I began to foster my musical talent by writing songs, I developed my people skills and practiced mentoring through an on campus job as a peer minister, and I tapped in to the gift of my brain that had the capacity to soak in medical knowledge and apply it in the clinical setting.
Gifts...and I graduated healthy, strong, and determined to set off into the unknown...
So my focus switched to nursing, to finding that oh so important job that I needed to be considered successful in life and as a result of my studies. In the midst, the music was lost.
God brought music back to me in the Spring of my senior year to connect me with another Regis grad who needed a vocalist for a song he had written. I soon found myself deep in song writing and recording for this song designed to bring hope to people. Pat, the songwriter, had lost his dad from cancer when he was in high school. He wanted to write something meaningful and give it to the "Ray of Hope" foundation to use as a theme song and to raise money for families affected by cancer. Summer, Fall, Winter and now the song is complete. The first project I've worked on to be copyrighted and to be released...
Here I am a nurse, working music on the side, and praying that God gives me the eyes and the wisdom to see His path. I love my job as a nurse and I love what I do. I am passionate about music and love bringing joy and meaning to lives around me in that realm as well. I can do both. Can I do both well? Only time will tell, but I am open to these gifts, ready to use them, and pray that God then uses me as a vessel so that I may be a light to the world and use these gifts to bring Him glory.
The one song evolved into two, the second being a rap version I have the honor of singing the chorus to. They will be released April 18th, 2015 and we will be opening for a band (who is to remain unknown at this time) at Regis University that afternoon. Admission is open to the public.
So gifts evolve and time opens and closes doors to allow those gifts to flourish. What is it you bring to the table and how can you serve God in everyday life? In the ordinary and the extraordinary.
I pray: God, today I am your hands and feet. Help me to remember this and to extend your love through everything I say and do. Amen.
For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. Matthew 25:19We are called to steward the gifts we were given and spread them to the world. Those that we "hide under a bushel" are wasted. We are given abilities so that we might spread the light of Christ through them as we share what we have to offer with the world. This is something I struggle with. I think there are multiple gifts that God gives each of use and they carry different purposes. What if one gift is neglected to foster the growth of another gift? And what if the gift that was neglected is actually the one that brings more glory to God and should be paid more attention. How do each of us know? This always brings up the thought of what is my purpose in life? Why am I here?
I pulled up an old email from 2011 last night which was sent to my mom from a family friend. The sender, a beautiful, spiritual woman of God, had been praying for my family and received images to pass along. The segment about me read:
For Christina ... I heard the strong message that she has been endowed withspecial and generous gifts, but needs to learn to steward what she has beengiven. We have seen many obvious lovely gifts as she has matured, but thereare more, and she needs to learn to care for her mind and body inpreparation for what it is the Lord has in planned for her future.June 26, 2011. At this point in my life I was struggling. I have just finished an awesome volleyball season at Regis University and a jam-packed filled year of every activity the university had to offer, but I was sick. I was battling constant fatigue and headaches that only worsened with exercise. My focus at this time was my athletic ability and using that to glorify God through hard work, presence with my team, and thus providing for a faith-centered education. It was right around this time (in the midst of fighting fatigue and illness) that I decided I would diagnose myself and enter the medical field. I began to study nursing. In the coming years my health inhibited my ability to continue as a collegiate athlete, but opened a whole new world of healing and ministry that I had never anticipated entering. These were hidden gifts.
In taking time to heal I began to foster my musical talent by writing songs, I developed my people skills and practiced mentoring through an on campus job as a peer minister, and I tapped in to the gift of my brain that had the capacity to soak in medical knowledge and apply it in the clinical setting.
Gifts...and I graduated healthy, strong, and determined to set off into the unknown...
So my focus switched to nursing, to finding that oh so important job that I needed to be considered successful in life and as a result of my studies. In the midst, the music was lost.
God brought music back to me in the Spring of my senior year to connect me with another Regis grad who needed a vocalist for a song he had written. I soon found myself deep in song writing and recording for this song designed to bring hope to people. Pat, the songwriter, had lost his dad from cancer when he was in high school. He wanted to write something meaningful and give it to the "Ray of Hope" foundation to use as a theme song and to raise money for families affected by cancer. Summer, Fall, Winter and now the song is complete. The first project I've worked on to be copyrighted and to be released...
Here I am a nurse, working music on the side, and praying that God gives me the eyes and the wisdom to see His path. I love my job as a nurse and I love what I do. I am passionate about music and love bringing joy and meaning to lives around me in that realm as well. I can do both. Can I do both well? Only time will tell, but I am open to these gifts, ready to use them, and pray that God then uses me as a vessel so that I may be a light to the world and use these gifts to bring Him glory.
The one song evolved into two, the second being a rap version I have the honor of singing the chorus to. They will be released April 18th, 2015 and we will be opening for a band (who is to remain unknown at this time) at Regis University that afternoon. Admission is open to the public.
So gifts evolve and time opens and closes doors to allow those gifts to flourish. What is it you bring to the table and how can you serve God in everyday life? In the ordinary and the extraordinary.
I pray: God, today I am your hands and feet. Help me to remember this and to extend your love through everything I say and do. Amen.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Setting the World on Fire
St. Ignatius said, "Go forth and set the world on fire". Each one of us is fueled by the Holy Spirit, the presence of God living and working in our souls. It is the voice in the back of your head that tells you what you should be doing. It is the voice in your heart that pulls you in the right direction. It is the fire of joy that we are each called to share with those around us: to spread the fire of love to the world. What are the gifts you've been given? How can you use those talents and abilities to better the world around you? Find what both benefits the world and brings you the most joy at the same time. It is in this position that you can best utilize what you have been given and glorify God.
In leaving this place I've called home for four years I feel ready. I have been given tools to help navigate life: faith, love, and cura personalis.
Faith. It is my faith that powers my life and guides what I do. I want my life to be in service of others and in service of God. "Whatever you did for the least of these you did unto me" (Matthew 24:36). In walking by faith I know God will put me where I am supposed to be and there is an immense freedom in letting Him be in control. This is easier said than done, but the times I feel most at peace are directly related to the times I give control to God and trust He has a plan for me. Someone once told me to imagine the best thing I could imagine. Then, she said, can you fathom that whatever God has in store will make you 1,000 times happier? In the hardest times I have to remember that God always works in my best interest. Whether I can see it or not, I have faith He will show me in His time the reason for everything.
Love. Love for life, love for others, love for God. Love is another kind of joy that fills one's heart. God created us to be in community with one another and to live a life filled with love. Love is not lust. It is sacrifice, kindness, fellowship, support, and compassion. God is love. Love is laying down your life as Christ did for us. The greatest commandment God gave us is to "love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37-39). What does that mean? To me, finding love in life is finding God in all things and people and committing my life to be one of service to God. If I strive to treat each person I meet with the same compassion I wish to receive, I am sharing the love of Christ. This life is not about me, it is for a greater purpose. I am here to be an instrument of God's love.
Cura Personalis. Latin for "care of the person". This concept refers to the whole person and finding a balance of caring for one's mind, body, and spirit. A wise mentor taught me not to "glorify busyness", but to focus my energy in places that fuel me and move away from the situations that drain me. I am much more successful and consistent in areas where I focused energy and am not spread thin. Busyness can pull me away from where God is calling me because I don't have time to listen. I am entering into a quiet two months where I will focus on music and the art of writing and recording. That is where God is calling me right now.For the time being, this is what will fuel my mind and spirit.
So as I set out with a nursing degree and a song in my heart I aim to let my life express love, find God in all things, trust that God will put me where I'm supposed to be, and care for my mind, body and spirit. In following these steps I can be the best "me" and more effectively set the world on fire.
In leaving this place I've called home for four years I feel ready. I have been given tools to help navigate life: faith, love, and cura personalis.
Faith. It is my faith that powers my life and guides what I do. I want my life to be in service of others and in service of God. "Whatever you did for the least of these you did unto me" (Matthew 24:36). In walking by faith I know God will put me where I am supposed to be and there is an immense freedom in letting Him be in control. This is easier said than done, but the times I feel most at peace are directly related to the times I give control to God and trust He has a plan for me. Someone once told me to imagine the best thing I could imagine. Then, she said, can you fathom that whatever God has in store will make you 1,000 times happier? In the hardest times I have to remember that God always works in my best interest. Whether I can see it or not, I have faith He will show me in His time the reason for everything.
Love. Love for life, love for others, love for God. Love is another kind of joy that fills one's heart. God created us to be in community with one another and to live a life filled with love. Love is not lust. It is sacrifice, kindness, fellowship, support, and compassion. God is love. Love is laying down your life as Christ did for us. The greatest commandment God gave us is to "love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37-39). What does that mean? To me, finding love in life is finding God in all things and people and committing my life to be one of service to God. If I strive to treat each person I meet with the same compassion I wish to receive, I am sharing the love of Christ. This life is not about me, it is for a greater purpose. I am here to be an instrument of God's love.
Cura Personalis. Latin for "care of the person". This concept refers to the whole person and finding a balance of caring for one's mind, body, and spirit. A wise mentor taught me not to "glorify busyness", but to focus my energy in places that fuel me and move away from the situations that drain me. I am much more successful and consistent in areas where I focused energy and am not spread thin. Busyness can pull me away from where God is calling me because I don't have time to listen. I am entering into a quiet two months where I will focus on music and the art of writing and recording. That is where God is calling me right now.For the time being, this is what will fuel my mind and spirit.
So as I set out with a nursing degree and a song in my heart I aim to let my life express love, find God in all things, trust that God will put me where I'm supposed to be, and care for my mind, body and spirit. In following these steps I can be the best "me" and more effectively set the world on fire.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Learning How to Serve
God,
You have blessed me in so many ways, one of the greatest being my education here at Regis University. I am graduating in less than two weeks with my BSN, and as of today have finished my college career. Wow...four years ago I never would have believed that this is where I would be in life...four years ago I would have thought I'd be graduating with my education degree and still be an athlete. Instead I am a nursing major and songwriter. I proudly carry BSN after my name, and in about a month will display RN as well. This is the gift of education. I have the privilege to serve through my major, to serve through my work. Regis has taught me the value in being a "woman in service of others". I have been gifted with this knowledge not just to heal through my profession, but to be the hands and feet of Christ in my daily work and through my thoughts and actions.
Last week I finished my community health rotation, where I taught health education lessons to 3rd-8th graders. In teaching a nutrition lesson a young boy raised his hand in concern, expressing that his mom could not afford to buy the "healthy" food, so how could he live a healthy lifestyle when he ate fast food nearly every night? My heart went out to this boy who was so genuine with his question while the implications of the subject made me wonder what life at home was like. I explained how there are ways to make healthier choices in such a situation, and the boy seemed satisfied. He was so engaged in the lesson and concerned for his health, and I was touched by his sincerity. I walked out of that lesson wondering if that one lesson impacted his perception of health and food decisions. Could one lesson possibly make the difference in a child's health outcomes because they have a new awareness of how to care for themselves despite circumstances? Could education reap positive outcomes in the face of vulnerable situations?
It is amazing to think about the impact I can have in the role as a nurse. This is a privilege and not something to take lightly. As I graduate and head out into the world the options are endless. Where is God going to place me? How can I make the greatest impact for Him through the gifts and abilities He has given me? I am excited to see where I end up. For now I am letting go. I will write, sing, pass my licensing exam, and see where I can make the biggest impact for the kingdom and glorify God.
"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope. You're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got His hand on you so, don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here. Take your time and pray. These are the words I would say" -Sidewalk Prophets
You have blessed me in so many ways, one of the greatest being my education here at Regis University. I am graduating in less than two weeks with my BSN, and as of today have finished my college career. Wow...four years ago I never would have believed that this is where I would be in life...four years ago I would have thought I'd be graduating with my education degree and still be an athlete. Instead I am a nursing major and songwriter. I proudly carry BSN after my name, and in about a month will display RN as well. This is the gift of education. I have the privilege to serve through my major, to serve through my work. Regis has taught me the value in being a "woman in service of others". I have been gifted with this knowledge not just to heal through my profession, but to be the hands and feet of Christ in my daily work and through my thoughts and actions.
Last week I finished my community health rotation, where I taught health education lessons to 3rd-8th graders. In teaching a nutrition lesson a young boy raised his hand in concern, expressing that his mom could not afford to buy the "healthy" food, so how could he live a healthy lifestyle when he ate fast food nearly every night? My heart went out to this boy who was so genuine with his question while the implications of the subject made me wonder what life at home was like. I explained how there are ways to make healthier choices in such a situation, and the boy seemed satisfied. He was so engaged in the lesson and concerned for his health, and I was touched by his sincerity. I walked out of that lesson wondering if that one lesson impacted his perception of health and food decisions. Could one lesson possibly make the difference in a child's health outcomes because they have a new awareness of how to care for themselves despite circumstances? Could education reap positive outcomes in the face of vulnerable situations?
It is amazing to think about the impact I can have in the role as a nurse. This is a privilege and not something to take lightly. As I graduate and head out into the world the options are endless. Where is God going to place me? How can I make the greatest impact for Him through the gifts and abilities He has given me? I am excited to see where I end up. For now I am letting go. I will write, sing, pass my licensing exam, and see where I can make the biggest impact for the kingdom and glorify God.
"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope. You're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got His hand on you so, don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here. Take your time and pray. These are the words I would say" -Sidewalk Prophets
Monday, April 14, 2014
A Change in the Path
Three months ago I was so convinced Nashville was where I was supposed to be and now I'm not so sure. As doors continue to open in Colorado I feel more and more at home here and have a strong desire to stay. Music opportunities are opening up and I plan to record my demo CD in May. I will graduate with my BSN in only 20 days and it is exciting and yet terrifying at the same time to step out into the world. Whatever is out there for me, I know God will guide my path.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".
As I seek job opportunities, who knows where I will end up. Whenever God closes one door, He opens a window. Faith is a beautiful thing. It allows for a joy to enter the soul that frees it to be satisfied with just being. Allows one to let go and let God. The future is unknown and there is a huge part of me that wants to grasp on to something steady and unmoving. God is my constant. Life will change, jobs will come and go, but faith will remain. I pray that as the path unfolds ahead of me in the next few weeks that God grants me the grace to put one foot in front of the other and follow the light that He provides to light the way. I always try to remember that whatever God has in mind is far greater than what my own plans can imagine.
In walking through Holy week I will strive to "do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God" -Micah 6:8
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".
As I seek job opportunities, who knows where I will end up. Whenever God closes one door, He opens a window. Faith is a beautiful thing. It allows for a joy to enter the soul that frees it to be satisfied with just being. Allows one to let go and let God. The future is unknown and there is a huge part of me that wants to grasp on to something steady and unmoving. God is my constant. Life will change, jobs will come and go, but faith will remain. I pray that as the path unfolds ahead of me in the next few weeks that God grants me the grace to put one foot in front of the other and follow the light that He provides to light the way. I always try to remember that whatever God has in mind is far greater than what my own plans can imagine.
In walking through Holy week I will strive to "do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God" -Micah 6:8
Monday, January 13, 2014
Step One: Scope Out the Path
I just returned from a visit to Nashville, Tennessee! I was hosted by a lovely family who was gracious enough to show me around and take time out of their busy lives to make me feel so at home. Loving that southern hospitality! I toured the city, scoped out some living spaces, and thoroughly enjoyed how nice everyone there is!! I had no sense of direction since there were no mountains to orient myself, but became more and more familiar with the roads each day. God is calling me. I don't know why I'm supposed to go there, but I am. I am excited to see the road he has planned for me and anxious to embark on this crazy new journey! I have my application in to Vanderbilt hospital and hope to be hired as a nurse in the Emergency Department there. I am praying a lot. This journey is going to require a lot of hard work, openness, faith, and I am going to be very vulnerable at times. I know God has my back, and I will smile, sing, and live life to the fullest. I aim to maximize joy in my life and everywhere I go! Here are some beautiful words my mom shared with me from a reflection book:
I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t be discouraged—never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.
Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
—Romans 8:31
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
—Psalm 46:1–3 nkjv
“For nothing is impossible with God.”
—Luke 1:37
I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t be discouraged—never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.
Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
—Romans 8:31
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
—Psalm 46:1–3 nkjv
“For nothing is impossible with God.”
—Luke 1:37
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