Fake It to Make It

There was one day where I was flat out exhausted. I've dealt with energy issues for seven years and over the last three months finally felt like I had control until this particular week. For whatever reason I woke up tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep for four more hours as opposed to starting off day one of three twelve hour shifts. The negative energy was frustrating because it is not a feeling I like to harbor or possess...ever. I reverted to my motto of "Fake it to make it". I offer up the day and pray God gives me the strength to hold it together.



The trouble with not having energy to begin with in a day, is that is takes twice as much energy to be present and pretend that you're okay. Talk about exhaustion by hour 13! I rolled in to work mentally cheer-leading in my head to shake the fatigue and anxiety where I was greeted with the eyes of an eager student who had been placed with me for the day. Bless my coworkers as they had only good intentions of placing her with me, as I teach students regularly throughout the year and thoroughly enjoy educating (on most days), but was not feeling it today.



Oh boy I thought as I took a deep breath in and breathed out with a welcoming smile. If I thought faking it for myself was gonna be hard today, faking it while maintaining patience to teach quadrupled the faking energy at that point. But I know there is nothing worse than a nurse showing frustration or disappointment at the opportunity to teach a student, so I smiled and prayed it would be a good day.



It was a good day. Thankfully it was slow enough in the morning where I could dictate my care and walk her through some basic IV skills before the volume picked up. She was positive, eager, and asked excellent questions. I found the teaching piece almost gave me more energy throughout the day as it is something that naturally energizes my soul. She was a great student and the day went by quickly. I had tried really hard to help her, but still felt like I didn't give her the experience I could have had I been feeling 100% that day. I felt guilty as I reflected on this while she was at lunch.



She came back from lunch and finished up her last few hours with me, and presented me with a card. "I don't normally do this, but I really appreciate how you've made my experience so great today," she handed me a card from the gift shop.



I was speechless. All day I had been trying so hard and felt like I had failed her, while she felt what I had to offer was more than she expected in a shift. Her gesture made my whole day.



Some days we have things on our minds, we're sick, or we just don't have our normal 100%. I've always been told to bring with me 100% of whatever I do have in a given day. Maybe it's far from my normal, but it's the best I can offer at that time. That day my 100% wasn't my usual, but it was appreciated and my effort did not go without successfully impacting someone around me.

Sometimes you have to fake it to make it through or just to simply find your energy and groove for the day, but no one will ever fault you for putting your best forward, whatever your best may be in that given time or day.