From Can't to Can

I sat down with a group of nursing students to debrief a long couple of days working on the floor. I wanted to take a step back and look at nursing care from a new perspective. Today's meeting was not to necessarily given information, but allow them to reflect on their practice. 

So you've got the whole "care for your patients physical needs down", so how do you care for them emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?  I asked

One girl looked up briskly with a fire in her eyes and stated, "It's impossible. I just can't!" She was visibly upset by the question, and initially my thoughts went to rephrasing the question since it must have been misunderstood. Of course everyone can care for the whole person, I thought. Then she began to explain how difficult it was to care for patients who didn't want to be helped and how she felt unqualified to give advice or to know what to say to these people. It broke her heart that in a profession she was so passionate about, she was not feeling successful in truly helping her patients. 

How often as healthcare providers do we feel this way? How often are patients brought through the doors only to refuse the help we offer or accuse us of neglecting their needs when the plan of care isn't exactly as they dictate it? 

As a student she was frustrated by the lack of response and enthusiasm she received from her patients when she put her whole soul into educating and empowering them to own their health. 

I validated her feelings and affirmed her frustration. The reality is that you cannot help people who don't want to be helped. So then, let's look at what we can do. We can genuinely care. We can find a way to relate to these people, hear where they've come from, what they love, and what motivates them to live each day. Maybe it's seeing a picture of their pet at home or asking about family or hobbies. We can find one way to genuinely connect to these people and relate to them. 

Patients want to  be treated not as patients, but as people. We have to learn to bridge that to be one in the same. 

If you walk in to a room to educate a patient at discharge after connecting with, listening to, and relating to this person for two days, the chances of them hearing what you're saying is far greater than the patient you haven't taken the time to understand. People listen to those whom they feel genuinely care.

   I listed to a CHF patient talk about his love of cooking and later incorporated that into educational teaching about diet modification. The patient was able to look at how he could be creative with recipes as opposed to feeling like his passion and love of cooking was being taken away from him. 

When it feels like "I can't", it's time to take a step back, take a breath, and simply focus on what "I can". You won't always get through, but if you stop and take the short time to have to sit, actively engage, and listen to a person, you know you gave all that you could. Sometimes, that is all you can do.