"Today I will choose joy".
This is what I told myself driving to work. I was tired and a little apprehensive after a few days off. I needed to kick myself back in to "work" mode as many of us in nursing do after too many days of free time or a vacation. I have struggled with my energy levels for years, 7 to be exact. It is managed with diet but something that creeps up on me every once and a while with stress, lack of sleep, or too much sugar. It is this fatigue fog I was attempting to push through that particular morning which plagued my normal, baseline happy spirit. It's like when you go to work when you're sick and it takes twice as much energy as a normal day to just put a smile on your face. Add that to the beginning of a 12 hour shift and you are in for one heck of a day!
Trying to shake the exhaustion and slight anxiety of these thoughts, in addition to the frustration that naturally couples them, I decided to focus on this pursuit of joy.
Happiness and joy are different, and I believe that true happiness stems from joy. I can be happy about an outcome, happy that the sun is out and it's summer, and happy when I look at the blessings in my life. But think about it...how many people have you met in your life who you envied as happy? Their social media profile is scattered with incredibly "happy" looking photos and they always have a smile on their face. How many of these people did you find out later actually weren't as happy as they made themselves out to be? Aren't we all guilty of this in one way or another? I know I'm not going to broadcast my bad hair day on Facebook as my profile picture.
Now think of someone who is not just happy, but joyful. Maybe they possess both, but when I think of joy I think of not an emotion, but a spirit. A spirit that is contagious and celebrates the good in others. A spirit that does not impose, but is open to being present in whatever moment life throws at them. A person who finds beauty and hope in all things around them. This person appears genuinely happy, but it is rooted in their contagious joy.
So my goal for the day was to strive for joy. This is a huge aspiration on a daily base, and particularly on a hard day. When a patient frustrated me or I became annoyed with the world, I took a breath and consciously attempted to find joy.
How can I bring I spirit of joy into the room with me?
It started with a clean slate when I walked in the patient room, a smile, and a heart open and ready to listen. I engaged in the story of my patient sincerely and found ways to make them smile and make them comfortable. When I left the room I had a new energy that carried me to my next patients, as my rooms filled up and things got busy. It was the craziest thing because this new mindset kept me cool. It kept things in perspective, allowed for intentional interactions, and kept me smiling, even when chaos ensued. In each interaction I attempted to find joy, and this joy seemed to fill me twice over.
I went home that day feeling filled, energized, and could only think "I love my job". Any other day with the patient trajectory this one had would have ended with physical, metal, and emotional exhaustion leading to apprehension towards the next day.
So now every day I strive for joy. The joy I hope someone can give me if I'm sick, the joy I feel in the most special events off life, and the joy that fills me with love and passion for what I do every day.
Find joy in your life and strive to show it in whatever you do. You might be surprised to see what it does in your heart and to your perspective.
"Joy is the proof of the presence of God". (Kathleen Nicholas).
He is everywhere, you just have to find Him.
